I always struggle writing very personal posts. I filled the screen with words and then quickly deleted them all. I am having a difficult day. I want to tell you all about it, but that would decidedly be oversharing. I don't want to be cryptic and mopey, because not only is it undersharing, it is annoying.
So basically? I used to have a friend, but she's not my friend anymore. She abruptly cut me out of her life three and a half years ago. It was her decision and I really thought that she would cool off and change her mind. She didn't. I've reached out twice, and while she's not hateful, she'd clearly not interested in fixing things either.
I won't say she didn't give me a reason, she did. But the logic didn't apply to other relationships in her life. So I have always wondered why she cut me out and not everyone else.
Just so you know this wasn't just any friend. We were thick as thieves. She called my mama "Mama K" and often referred to herself as our "other sister".
So about every six months I am reminded of our friendship and the very abrupt way in which it ended. I never got any closure, and I'm still very hurt that our friendship apparently meant so little to her.
I have new friends, and they are great friends! Sometimes though, it makes me sad that I lost her. We shared a lot of really great times, and some of my best memories involve her.
So today I'm sitting here wondering. Wondering what happened, wondering how she is now, wondering if she regrets cutting me out but is just too stubborn to try and repair the damage.
Have any of you lost a friend this way?